My Love

"I found the one my heart loves." Song of Solomon 3:4

Last night I had the worst time falling asleep. I kept thinking what would my life be like if I lost my husband May of 2011.  Would I have moved back to Texas? Would I stay a good mom?  Would I eventually have gotten remarried?  I don't know those answers and I am so thankful for the Lord healing and saving my husband.  

My husband Dusty, he is a strong man, but  is not a Christian and at times we clash a lot because I am.  I really know that God has big plans for him when he does realize that there is no greater love than Gods. I can't even begin to explain it to him.  I pray for him daily.  He knows I do this. He tells me to stop it when he sees that I am praying over him. He used to get mad now he has accepted it. I am going to pray and no matter what he says it won't stop him.  When he got sick back in April of 2011. I prayed like crazy.  I asked for prayers.  Dusty spent 28 days in the hospital.  I don't think I ever want to relive that again. It was such a trying time for us as a family.  I prayed over him and over him. While he was sleeping, when he was awake. I prayed holding his hand while he was being prepped for surgery.  The whole time I was scared he was going to die.  They told us that if we waited one more day he would have died.  That time was so trying for us.  

Now he has anxiety about my trip. I keep telling him that this is God's plan.  We talked about it. He said I could go but little did he know he really had no choice.  God made my way and has provided every need that I have needed to go.  So now as we are under 30 days away. I have reversed my worries to what if I don't come back.  Will my baby girl be okay? Will he be okay?  I know these thoughts are the devil trying hard to scare me about going.  But guess what I am going.  I am going for the glory of God.  I am going to serve my mighty King.  I shouldn't worry about anything because God has a plan and he has my back.  

Okay so where is this going I ask myself because I am really good at getting off track.  Dusty is the love of my life.  I have a hard time doing things with out him.  This trip is the first time in 16 years that I will be to far for him to come to my rescue.  I can't rely on him for help.  I can't call him when I am having a bad moment. I am nervous because of this.  I haven't even left and I already have anxiety about the flight.  It took reading a blog post from someone that travels internationally that has helped some of my anxiety.  I know that I can email him and I can Skype with Dusty but I can't call him because someone says something to me and it hurt my feelings.  I realize that he is my love and he is my foundation here in earth.  He is my comfort when I need it.  I hope that no matter what is going on when I am gone that I know that he is still going to be here when I get home.  

I will be okay, God is in my corner.  I just have to keep repeating that!  

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Traveling fears...

   I am leaving in 32 days to a country I have never been to, only seen pictures, heard stories. I am not scared, maybe a little nervous, but defiantly not scared. When talking with my friends about my trip they all ask me what are my fears.

I think my fears are silly fears.  I am really afraid I am going to get leg cramps. I am prone to them and know that I get them easily especially after walking for a really long time and not drinking enough fluids.  Hopefully to prevent them I am going to take with me potassium and calcium supplements.  I also have a fear of getting sick to my stomach from eating something strange.  This I know can happen even here in America.  So I will load up on anti-diarrhea meds, apple juice and apple cider vinegar   I started drinking apple juice with apple cider vinegar in it for a little over 6 or 7 months now. I never have problems with my stomach as long as I drink it, so I will take it with me and drink it while I am there.

I am not afraid of dying.  I think that no matter where in the world you are, if it is your time to go home to be with the Lord then it is going to happen. If that means I am 8,000 miles away so be it. I know I died doing what the Lord intended me to do.

I know that this trip is something that I have been called to do by the Lord. I am ready for my mission whole heartily. The Lord blessed me with all the necessary funds to go and he gave my husband peace about the trip now. (but don't tell Dusty that cause he will just say no I have come to the realization.. yada yada.. blending together nerd talk here).

I am honored to get to go spread the word of God and to help people that can not get help other wise.

Please pray for the team I am traveling with and with the people of the country I am going to.  I can't say right now where I am going because it is dangerous to talk about it before hand.  When I get back at the end of Feb. I plan on having a series of post about my experiences 


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I think I am going bald

Well there is no thinking, I know I am.  Thinning hair runs in my family.  I can't hid from it at all.  I have tried rogaine, proRx, and a couple of other products and all they do is dry at what little hair I have and irritate my scalp.

Well when my family and I went to New Orleans over the weekend, there was this little store that had some amazing smells coming from it, so in went me and my daughter because you know the boys won't go in unless dragged in.  The store was Lush.  It was an awesome little store with great and friendly staff.  The lady helping me was so helpful.  Boy I wish I could remember her name (I am the worlds worst at remembering names). She was a cute lady with red hair. She was so helpful.  I was talking to her and told her that I have a hard time buying stuff for my hair because its so thin. She was like we have the best stuff for you to try out. She put some cream on the back of my hand and smelled so good. It made the back of my hand tingle so I knew it would do the same for my scalp.  The product is called "Roots". Then she showed me a shampoo bar, I have never seen a shampoo bar but I was like this thing is awesome. They are these disk like soaps, just like hand soap. The one she showed me is called "New". It helps with growing new hairs. It smells so good, has a hint of cinnamon and I love anything cinnamon. It actually has a piece of cinnamon stick on the top of it.   The last product I got was called "Big" it is a solid conditioner that adds volume to your hair. It smells like the ocean.. oh.. yeah.. another must have item just from the smell.

Today was the first day I tried my new products. The Roots felt awesome and helped wake me up this morning.  It got up and put it in my hair, went and woke up by daughter to see if she was feeling better and wanted to go to church.  Checked facebook and instagram to kill time and by the time 20 mins was up I was ready to get in the shower.  Washing it out was easy and the whole shower smelled minty and invigorating. Then I used the Shampoo bar and it lathered up really well.  I was shocked.  I was also worried it would turn my hair red but it didn't.  Just the lather was pink which made for a fun shower. :) The conditioner bar was a little tricky.  You have to get it moving with water and make a lotion out of it and add it to your hair.  It was a little bit more work than normal but not to bad.  The way my hair felt out of the shower and dried was so nice. It is soft. Not so frizzy and smells great. My husband even liked the way it smelt.  I am going to try and post a picture every week while I try this new regime and we can see if there is a difference from today and so on.  So here is today's picture.  As you can tell the top of my head you can see my scalp well.  But it does have more volume than normal, but that could be from blow drying it because it was cold outside and I was going to church.  They recommend that you don't blow dry your hair.

Hopefully this really works well and I start to see a difference. That is something that I really would like to happen.


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Oh yeah 35 days until I leave for my Mission trip!! I am getting so excited!!!