Hope...Anchor

   

Sometimes as a musician I don't always listen to the words of songs when I play them. It is never intentional, I am just solely concentrating on what I need to be playing. When I do that normally there is nothing around it is just me and my flute. But this song that I am playing/working on right now by Hillsong called Anchor ; it really speaks to my heart. My eyes water and my heart cries out when I play it. I might not be singing the words but I see them and read them on my music.

Here are some of the lines:

" I have this hope
as an anchor for my soul
through every storm
I will hold to you...

There is hope in the promise of the cross,
You gave everything to save the world you love
and this hope is an anchor for my soul,
Our God will stand unshakable....

Your Name is higher,
Your Name is greater,
All my hope is in You,
Your word unfailing,
Your promise unshaken,
All my hope is in you."
 
What better life is there to know that all we have to have is hope and the Lord will give us strength to get through everything no mater what the problem is. Life isn't easy and if it was we would always be bored. God gives us a way to make it easy though, we just have to listen to him.

Isaiah 40:31 "Those who Hope in the Lord will renew their strength..."


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Picture Source

My Love

"I found the one my heart loves." Song of Solomon 3:4

Last night I had the worst time falling asleep. I kept thinking what would my life be like if I lost my husband May of 2011.  Would I have moved back to Texas? Would I stay a good mom?  Would I eventually have gotten remarried?  I don't know those answers and I am so thankful for the Lord healing and saving my husband.  

My husband Dusty, he is a strong man, but  is not a Christian and at times we clash a lot because I am.  I really know that God has big plans for him when he does realize that there is no greater love than Gods. I can't even begin to explain it to him.  I pray for him daily.  He knows I do this. He tells me to stop it when he sees that I am praying over him. He used to get mad now he has accepted it. I am going to pray and no matter what he says it won't stop him.  When he got sick back in April of 2011. I prayed like crazy.  I asked for prayers.  Dusty spent 28 days in the hospital.  I don't think I ever want to relive that again. It was such a trying time for us as a family.  I prayed over him and over him. While he was sleeping, when he was awake. I prayed holding his hand while he was being prepped for surgery.  The whole time I was scared he was going to die.  They told us that if we waited one more day he would have died.  That time was so trying for us.  

Now he has anxiety about my trip. I keep telling him that this is God's plan.  We talked about it. He said I could go but little did he know he really had no choice.  God made my way and has provided every need that I have needed to go.  So now as we are under 30 days away. I have reversed my worries to what if I don't come back.  Will my baby girl be okay? Will he be okay?  I know these thoughts are the devil trying hard to scare me about going.  But guess what I am going.  I am going for the glory of God.  I am going to serve my mighty King.  I shouldn't worry about anything because God has a plan and he has my back.  

Okay so where is this going I ask myself because I am really good at getting off track.  Dusty is the love of my life.  I have a hard time doing things with out him.  This trip is the first time in 16 years that I will be to far for him to come to my rescue.  I can't rely on him for help.  I can't call him when I am having a bad moment. I am nervous because of this.  I haven't even left and I already have anxiety about the flight.  It took reading a blog post from someone that travels internationally that has helped some of my anxiety.  I know that I can email him and I can Skype with Dusty but I can't call him because someone says something to me and it hurt my feelings.  I realize that he is my love and he is my foundation here in earth.  He is my comfort when I need it.  I hope that no matter what is going on when I am gone that I know that he is still going to be here when I get home.  

I will be okay, God is in my corner.  I just have to keep repeating that!  

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Traveling fears...

   I am leaving in 32 days to a country I have never been to, only seen pictures, heard stories. I am not scared, maybe a little nervous, but defiantly not scared. When talking with my friends about my trip they all ask me what are my fears.

I think my fears are silly fears.  I am really afraid I am going to get leg cramps. I am prone to them and know that I get them easily especially after walking for a really long time and not drinking enough fluids.  Hopefully to prevent them I am going to take with me potassium and calcium supplements.  I also have a fear of getting sick to my stomach from eating something strange.  This I know can happen even here in America.  So I will load up on anti-diarrhea meds, apple juice and apple cider vinegar   I started drinking apple juice with apple cider vinegar in it for a little over 6 or 7 months now. I never have problems with my stomach as long as I drink it, so I will take it with me and drink it while I am there.

I am not afraid of dying.  I think that no matter where in the world you are, if it is your time to go home to be with the Lord then it is going to happen. If that means I am 8,000 miles away so be it. I know I died doing what the Lord intended me to do.

I know that this trip is something that I have been called to do by the Lord. I am ready for my mission whole heartily. The Lord blessed me with all the necessary funds to go and he gave my husband peace about the trip now. (but don't tell Dusty that cause he will just say no I have come to the realization.. yada yada.. blending together nerd talk here).

I am honored to get to go spread the word of God and to help people that can not get help other wise.

Please pray for the team I am traveling with and with the people of the country I am going to.  I can't say right now where I am going because it is dangerous to talk about it before hand.  When I get back at the end of Feb. I plan on having a series of post about my experiences 


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I think I am going bald

Well there is no thinking, I know I am.  Thinning hair runs in my family.  I can't hid from it at all.  I have tried rogaine, proRx, and a couple of other products and all they do is dry at what little hair I have and irritate my scalp.

Well when my family and I went to New Orleans over the weekend, there was this little store that had some amazing smells coming from it, so in went me and my daughter because you know the boys won't go in unless dragged in.  The store was Lush.  It was an awesome little store with great and friendly staff.  The lady helping me was so helpful.  Boy I wish I could remember her name (I am the worlds worst at remembering names). She was a cute lady with red hair. She was so helpful.  I was talking to her and told her that I have a hard time buying stuff for my hair because its so thin. She was like we have the best stuff for you to try out. She put some cream on the back of my hand and smelled so good. It made the back of my hand tingle so I knew it would do the same for my scalp.  The product is called "Roots". Then she showed me a shampoo bar, I have never seen a shampoo bar but I was like this thing is awesome. They are these disk like soaps, just like hand soap. The one she showed me is called "New". It helps with growing new hairs. It smells so good, has a hint of cinnamon and I love anything cinnamon. It actually has a piece of cinnamon stick on the top of it.   The last product I got was called "Big" it is a solid conditioner that adds volume to your hair. It smells like the ocean.. oh.. yeah.. another must have item just from the smell.

Today was the first day I tried my new products. The Roots felt awesome and helped wake me up this morning.  It got up and put it in my hair, went and woke up by daughter to see if she was feeling better and wanted to go to church.  Checked facebook and instagram to kill time and by the time 20 mins was up I was ready to get in the shower.  Washing it out was easy and the whole shower smelled minty and invigorating. Then I used the Shampoo bar and it lathered up really well.  I was shocked.  I was also worried it would turn my hair red but it didn't.  Just the lather was pink which made for a fun shower. :) The conditioner bar was a little tricky.  You have to get it moving with water and make a lotion out of it and add it to your hair.  It was a little bit more work than normal but not to bad.  The way my hair felt out of the shower and dried was so nice. It is soft. Not so frizzy and smells great. My husband even liked the way it smelt.  I am going to try and post a picture every week while I try this new regime and we can see if there is a difference from today and so on.  So here is today's picture.  As you can tell the top of my head you can see my scalp well.  But it does have more volume than normal, but that could be from blow drying it because it was cold outside and I was going to church.  They recommend that you don't blow dry your hair.

Hopefully this really works well and I start to see a difference. That is something that I really would like to happen.


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Oh yeah 35 days until I leave for my Mission trip!! I am getting so excited!!!

You are More

On my way home this evening I had my stereo blaring (like I always do) and this song came on by Tenth Avenue North called "You are More"  It makes you stop and think that no matter what is going on in your life, you are truly more.  Jesus died on the cross for you and that makes your life worth living and worth fighting for.  No matter what is going on in your life be thankful.  Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross to save me.  I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for my faith in Jesus to get me through some of the toughest things in life.  I am blessed to have great Godly friends that I know will be there for me when I need them.  I know that no matter what they do not judge me for things I have done in my past or the choices that I made.  They know me for me and that I love Christ just as they do.  I love my friends and I am really thankful that God put them in my life and my families life.

Here are some of the lyrics from the song:

" 'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade. "



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Real Life Glee

(This was before the show)

My daughter is in her schools show choir. She loves it.  She got a taste of it last year in elementary school and this year she is in it full time in the middle school.  I tease her that one day she might end up on Glee.  She says no she is just doing this for fun. It isn't going to be her career.  I would love if she does well enough that she can get a scholarship singing and dancing.  She has high goals of going to Harvard but will settle for Auburn.  I really hope she gets to Harvard, but I don't think this mommy can afford that. 

Well her first show was last Thursday. They call it the Fall Showcase.  It gives the Middle and High school a chance to practice in front of people.  I took a few shots with my cell phone. I ran off and forgot my camera.  Forgive me but the rest of these might be a little blurry.  They sang Lets Get Loud. Celebration and one other song and for the life of me I can't remember the name of it.  Their theme is Rock.  So all the songs are rock songs through out the times.  

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Grandma is always near

My bible started to come apart at the seems.  I have repaired it once before but this time I think it is beyond repair, so I probably will just store it because it is something I treasure.  I love my bible.  But right now it just isn't going to be able to be used.  I just don't want to loose any pages or it to tear up even more.  So for now I will use my Grandma B's bible.

This is my broken bible

She gave me this bible back in 2003. She had it since 1994.  It has her underlines in it and highlights. I have only used it a few times.  It is big, heavy, and large print.  I have just kept it safe because I will always cherish it, now that she is gone.

Well today I decided to take it with me to church to use because I try really hard not to go to church without a bible.  Today Bro Gene preached in 1 John.  He has been going through 1 John for some time now.  I have my bible all marked and ready to go.  But with this bible I had to do some searching.  The text today was 1 John 3:16-24  My Grandma had highlighted 1 John 3:16 "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." 

She knew how important this verse is and wanted to make sure she remembered it.  I am glad that I took her bible to church with me this morning.  It helped me remember that one day I will be with her again sitting with our Lord! 

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Blessings in Disguise

Well things here have been a whirlwind of excitement and blessings.  I posted a while back that I am hoping to go on a medical mission trip.  I started trying to figure out how I was going to pay for this trip. I started with making Jelly.  Everyone loves homemade jelly right?  I have completely sold out of all that I made.  I think I made about $170 on the few batches and flavors I made, thanks to a sweet church friend that sold it at her hair salon for me.  I had the idea of sending out a will you sponsor me letter, but that mean I had to mail letters off with stamped envelopes included.  I figured up the printing of the letters, the postage and it was more than $100 just to send out the letters so I nixed that plan.  I then set up a go fund me site and that didn't work either, but it allowed me to put in the offline donations and my jelly sells so that I could keep up with it.  That was great!  Well on Wednesday, I went in to talk to Luke and tell him, I just don't think I can come up with the funds.  He told me not to give up and just wait. But I had to get my passport.  I kept putting it off because I didn't want to spend the money if I wasn't going to get to go.  I broke down and went ahead and took care of my passport on Thursday. Well on Friday morning my pastor Bro Gene called me at 7:50am.  My phone must have went straight to voice mail because it never rang, but the voice mail alert came up so I listened to my message and he said to call him back he had something to talk to me about.  You know how you brain starts thinking what in the world does Bro Gene need to talk to me about at 7:50 in the morning.  I jumped up and called him right back.  I never expected to hear him say what he had to say on the other end of the phone.  Someone from church donated the money I needed to go on the mission trip.  I was shocked and so exited. This person is my blessing in disguise because I will never know who they are, but they will always be in my heart.  They are very special to me.  I will always be grateful for what they did for me.  I know this mission trip will be something that I will always remember.  I am looking forward to the day we leave.  I can't wait to share God's love with others.  He is an awesome God!  I am so honored to serve a loving God.

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Fundraising for my Medical Mission Trip

(image source)

This is what I want to witness! This is my prayers. 

I started working on ways to raise the funds to go on the Medical Mission trip in February.  I decided I would start with selling homemade Jams.  I set up a facebook page to get the word out. If you would like to buy some head on over there and let me know.  I have two flavors right now Cherry Chipotle and Carmel Apple Mayhem (this one is a favorite).  I can ship them to you if you would like. 

I also set up a Go Fund Me page that allows people to donate to my mission work either publicly or privately. I added a widget to the right here and you can see my progress as time goes by.  If you would like to donate you can go to the site by clicking the donate now button or here.  Any amount will help and would be greatly appreciated.  

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10,000 Reasons

There is a song that plays on klove and I have it stuck in my head.  I love this song. I went so far and downloaded the sheet music so that I can play it on my flute.  I wanted to share it with you.

The chorus goes like this:
Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship you holy name

Here is the video for the song.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. 

Sorry I couldn't embed it. (I came back in and edited it.)  I am blogging from my phone.

Mission Trip??

I have this awesome opportunity to go on a medical mission trip to India!

I feel that I was called into doing medical missions over a year ago, then my husband got sick and I put it on hold.  With that, at church on Sunday, they announced that one of the guys that loves India and has been 4 times already is heading up a Medical Mission.  I was sitting there listening and was like yes THANK YOU LORD!  I have been waiting for this.  I wanted to go but didn't want to go alone.  This is that opportunity to serve the Lord in the way that I know I am meant to do.  But there is a catch! Always a catch right because things can't always be easy...

I have to raise $2800 and most of it by October.  I don't know even where to start to raise that kind of money.  We don't just have that sitting in the bank waiting for me to pay for a mission trip.  How do I do it?

Right now all I am going to do is ask for prayers.  Prayers that this is what God is leading me to do. Prayers that I can raise the money to go and prayers that it shows my family that this is the right thing to do.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.  I will be found by you," says the Lord.


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Those little moments..

When you know you are truly in love with your best friend.

When he will drop everything and dance with you in the living room.

When he will take a day off work to be with you.

When he still tells you, you are beautiful even after being together 16years.

When he kisses you good bye from the window of the car.

When he still says I LOVE YOU!!!

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New School Year around the corner.

The new school year is sneaking up on us quickly.  I love this time of year when we start getting ready for the new year.  We started looking at new curriculum for Sephy.  I can't believe my baby girl is now a jr. high kid.  Just seems like yesterday I was walking her down the hall to Kindergarten. This year is a special year for her.  She gets to be in the Youth Group.  She was so excited she gets to do what the BIG kids get to do now.  Plus with us having another exchange student this year she gets to do things with them.  I hope that Sephy and our new student have a good bond and get a long great.  I want this year to be perfect for both of them.

Our new exchange student come to Mississippi on Saturday!! I am excited.  This year is going to be a fun year.  Since I am now working for the company AYUSA, we use to host the student in our home, I am supervising 4 other students in my area.  One of them will be right here in the same neighborhood.  I am so excited.   I don't think I can say that to much.  =)   I am having a slumber party for them in August so they can get to know each other and me.  I am really looking forward to that.

Are you ready for the new school year to start?

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Women of Faith

I have been chosen by Book Sneeze to blog about the Women of Faith conference.
I am so excited.  I have always wanted to attend one of the conferences but have never had the opportunity.  It is a great time to fellowship, praise God, worship God and all with women around you sharing his love.

Here is a video about the conference.



Thank you Book Sneeze and Women of Faith for this opportunity.



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When is enough, ENOUGH?

I am the first one to admit I SPOIL my child.  She is my only one. It is very easy to say yes, yes, yes when you don't have to worry about saying no, no, no  because there is no one else to say yes to.  I am thinking that all the yeses are starting to pile up and its just getting to much for me.

Persephone is an animal lover, me not so much.  My husband really isn't an animal lover at all.  In fact if it was up to him animals wouldn't exist.  In over a year we went from no animals when we moved here to Laurel to having 4.  It started with a small caged animal our rabbit Midnight.  She is easy, in fact out of all the animals, she is Dusty's favorite.  He spoils her with fruits and veggies, even buys pumpkin seeds for her.  Then she wanted a dog, so we surprised her last summer with Captain.  He is a great, funny looking, rescue I got her.  He is a great dog. Minds, knows commands and tricks.  Just likes to visit the neighbors from time to time.  Then we got Macee, she is a cute little dog but pees every time she sees you or you talk to her or just walk out the door.  But she doesn't run off and she stays close to home.  Plus she is just cute.  These 3 animals are maintenance free really.

THEN,

She wants a horse, not a big horse just a Miniature one.  Okay I am thinking she can handle this little horse.  She has been showing her friends minis and does well with them so we said YES.  A friend of mine help me to find one.  She found him, he was cheap, just he was a stud, so we had to geld him.  So money is going right out the door left and right because, first, I have NO, I mean NO idea what all we need to have for this new guy.  So yes the horse is cheap but everything else isn't.  The money just adds up and it isn't like we can't afford for her to do it but it was just a lot all of a sudden.  But the money isnt why I am writing....

So here is Persephone with her horse "Mars the Star", I love this little horse but I think I love him more than she does, but the deal was, she gets the horse she has to care for the horse, right.   Well she goes every morning to feed him.  That is all she seems to want to do is feed him.  She hates to give him water because it is WORK.  Well today I had enough because it seems like the only time his water is actually filled to the top is when I am going down there to help her get ready for a show.  I had ENOUGH.   So I yelled at her and told her I didn't care anymore because I was tired and hot and I shouldn't have to get mad at her because her horse, yes YOUR HORSE, doesn't have water.  (he had water last night btw, his keeper verified that for me) But the point of my madness was that it seems that she doesn't care.  She wants to be able to show up at a show all dressed nice show the horses, get a ribbon, and go home.  That is what she thought horse ownership was like until she realized how much work it truly is.  A part of me wants to just sell the horse and be done, but what does that teach her?  If you don't like the work, just go to the next thing that is easy.  I don't want a lazy child at all.  I want her to know that she has to work and take care of the things that belong to her.

So when do I say enough is enough before I go insane because she just doesn't get it???

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