Letting Go

There comes a time in my life when I must let go of the past and move forward with my life.  It has been over a year and I do not wish to communicate with the past that keeps seeming to want to communicate with me.  Why can't they just understand I don't want to be in their lives nor do I want them in mine because nothing good came from them being there. I do NOT miss all the heart aches, drugs, abuse that was from them.  I am tired of them trying to contact me.  Don't you think that if I haven't talked to you in over a year then I don't want to talk to you.  The best thing that ever happened was them leaving.  I have never seen happiness from my mom like I have now.  Please if for some odd reason they come across this I sure hope they get the hint now that I do NOT want them in my life ever again.  They can keep their problems to themselves.  I do not want to subject my child to hearing things that no child should hear.  I do not want her to see the things she had to see again.  They may never understand how much my heart aches for them.  There is nothing I can do to change them or help them.  I just want that part of my life gone forever.  I am sorry if the rest of my family feels it is necessary to keep up with them.  I just do not want to.  Please forgive me that I am being very strong about this.  I need to keep my child safe and the only way to do that is to make sure she is not subjected to abuse.  


A part of me feels guilty for feeling this way because maybe deep down I should want them in my life, like it is the right thing to do.  Just I don't think I have the strength to handle it.  Maybe in years to come when my child is an adult and I am getting old and they are still trying then maybe I will think about letting them back in my life.  But as of right now I am on a new chapter in our lives and all things that have brought us down in the past will no longer happen.  My family and I are happy and that is where we want to stay.  






Thank you to Shell at Things I Can't Say for this opportunity to share  something with out the guilt of randomly posting about something I have been wanting to say out loud for a really long time. 

Black and White Wednesday ~ Gary

I posted a picture a on my first B&W Wednesday of my friend Gary.  His wife wanted me to share this picture of him and their son Tanner on deployment day.  It is Gary and Tanner sitting on the ruck sacks waiting on the buses to pull up to take the guys to the plane on November 11, 2009. It was taken by Mandy.  


I found out today that he is getting to come home early.  He will be home the end of July or first of August.  I am excited just as much as his wife is.  I haven't seen them in a year come this weekend.  I am ready for the 16 hour drive to Kansas just to see three of my favorite people.  

This blog hop is brought to you by: 

If you would like to join in hop on over to her site and join in the fun. 

My Blog is Carbon Neutral

I was contacted by a Christin in Germany about this initiative and I talked to my husband about it because I didn't quite understand how my paperless website produced carbon dioxide.  He said because the server that is hosting it puts off carbon dioxide.

 I checked out the website she sent me.  

It is a German Based Company and are "planting trees in cooperation with the Arbor Day Foundation in Plumas National Forest in Northern California for our project to neutralize the carbon footprint of blogs. Thousands of wildfires burned down many national forests over the past ten years and 88.000 acres of Plumas' were destroyed by two fires in 2007. To help replanting we need the support of bloggers all over the world! For every participating blog we plant a tree. One blog - one tree."  I like the idea and I am joining in the initiative.  If you would like to join in and have a tree planted for your blog please click either the website I have listed here.  Or my button at the top of this post.  

I hope that everyone joins in and has a tree planted for your blog.  

Color Splash~ Yellow

I didn't get to participate last week because we where out of town.  I am sometimes really slow when it comes to doing new pictures because I have this I am not good enough feeling to them.  I am great at editing and bring a photo to life but the ones SOTC are always so sad to me.

Color Splash Sunday is brought to you by Artistically Amy.







With us on our new diet we (or Dusty will say him) spend more time in the kitchen.  I looked around and around my house for something yellow.  That is not something we have a lot of.  I have this one cutting board that is yellow so that is what my shot is of my small task cutting board.  With my Wolfgang Puck Suduko  knife.  Which btw are great knives and I have 4 of them in different sizes. If you are looking for good knives I recommend them.

Hot Cross Buns...

Here is my Princess playing "Hot Cross Buns" on her Violin.

She played it by memory.




Please excuse the pj's on she was practicing before bedtime tonight.

Book Review: Rick and Bubba's

This book was such a fun book to read.  I am a food lover so when it came to reading silly tales about food, I was all in.  I laughed so hard while I was reading this book.

This book is not a cookbook, just a book about eating food.
If you like books that make you laugh and about food, then it is for you.  I don't know if I would try any of the recipes because they are sure full of fatty ingredients.  But over all it was well worth my time to read this book.  They talk about their favorite restaurants like Cracker Barrel.  Who doesn't love Cracker Barrel, Home cooked goodness along with a bit of shopping.

If you want a good laugh from two funny men, then check it out.

Five Question Friday

FIVE QUESTION FRIDAY!!!! brought to you by Mama M. So hop on over to her blog and check it out if you want to join in!

1. Did you pass your driver's test on the first try?

I lived in Texas and we where not required to take the driver's test if we passed Drivers ed. I passed with a B.  Lucky me no crazy old man telling me I was doing it wrong.... 

Oh Wait.. I had that already, my Pawpa.  

I will never forget driving for the first time with my Grandma Rose. She always had a Mercy Grand Marquis and it was an older one and huge.  You know what the kids now call a hoopdee (I think that is how its spelt).  She was letting me drive home from the doctor's office.  It was a quick 5 minute drive. I pull out on the 4 lane road and I am going along.  I am not speeding but when I come up to the light to turn I was going to fast.  I started to panic. She started to panic. She was like Cherees Cherees slow down and I freaked out and took the turn at 30mphs.  She was screaming, I was screaming.  She was like now you just slow your a** down and go 20 all the way home.  She wouldn't let me drive with her at all.  To this day I don't like that corner and avoid it at all possible.  =) 

2. What is your most embarrassing moment?

The one that always sticks out when someone ask me this is from the day my daughter was born.  

I had been in labor going on the 3rd day.  I was at the hospital and my contractions where starting to get harder but not so bad that I wasn't allowed to get up and walk and go to the restroom things like that.  Well everyone left me upstairs to go get something to eat but my dad he stayed behind.  I told him that I need to go to the rest room.  So he helped me up and I was standing there about to take a step towards the rest room and I had a contraction so I stopped. At that exact moment my water broke. I started crying because I thought I peed on myself. I was so embarrassed.  I kept saying I am sorry daddy I didn't mean to pee on myself.  He kept telling me that I didn't that my water broke, but I swore I peed.  The nurse came and reassured me that it was my water.  My dad ran down to get my hubby because I was so upset.  I don't think I will ever forget that moment when I thought I peed on myself in front of my dad at 23 yrs old.  

3. What TV show would you like to be on- Oprah, Biggest Loser, or What Not to Wear?

I think I would like to be on What Not to Wear.  I could use a new wardrobe.  I am by far not stylish.  I wear jeans and tshirts 90% of the time and most of the clothes I wear to church are just business type attire.  I would love some clothes that are new and fun and hip. 

4. Would you ever get plastic surgery and what kind?

When I loose all this weight and after I have a baby, I want to get a tummy tuck and a boob job to lift my girls so they aren't so droopy. 

5. What are your favorite jeans to wear?

This one hard because I like my old Lane Bryant Jeans but I also Like my Cato ones.  But I wear my Lane Bryant ones more than any of them.  

******

I hope that everyone has a blessed weekend! 

Testing New System

Trying to use a new comment system hopefully it works out. This is just a test blog.

Raw (e) ~ Beautiful

God's Garden

THE Lord God planted a garden

In the first white days of the world,

And He set there an angel warden

In a garment of light enfurled.

So near to the peace of Heaven,

That the hawk might nest with the wren,

For there in the cool of the even

God walked with the first of men.

And I dream that these garden-closes

With their shade and their sun-flecked sod

And their lilies and bowers of roses,

Were laid by the hand of God.

The kiss of the sun for pardon,

The song of the birds for mirth,--

One is nearer God's heart in a garden

Than anywhere else on earth.

For He broke it for us in a garden

Under the olive-trees

Where the angel of strength was the warden

And the soul of the world found ease.

- Dorothy Frances Gurney -

Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1844

If you would like to join in please visit Sami  over at Sailor & Company and join in the fun.

The rules are simple:

post a distraction photo

unedited (don't touch it or crop it or enhance it AT ALL)

don't post until you put your picture on your blog

link to your post not your url so I don't have to dig for it

only post ONE photo!

HAVE FUN!!!!

I took this photo from my archives.  It is unedited.  

Have a great day!! 

Black and White Wednesday ~ Beach Fun

This blog hop is brought to you by: 

If you would like to join in hop on over to her blog and join in the fun.

This past weekend we went to Gulf Shores, AL.  It was a last minute trip.  I had planned on going to Fort Walton Beach, but hubby didn't want to drive that far. Which it was just an hour more but we all know how guys are.  =)  We spent the day on the beach. It was a lot of fun. Sephy enjoyed playing in the freezing water and I enjoyed watching all the people.  

Here she is giving me a kissy face acting like a mermaid. 

Sephy is just smiling at me and saying hurry up mom the sand is starting to get cold and itchy. 

And of course I had to catch the local wildlife in all its glory. 

(this picture is 100% color. I did not have to change it to b&w the beaches where white sand and the pigeon of course is black and white.)

I am ready for the light at the end of the tunnel, ARE YOU??

Raw (e) ~ Distractions

This weeks Raw(e) Theme is Distractions.  

You are suppose to post a picture of what your distraction is.

So many things distract me but mostly its pain. I can't really take a picture of it because it is inside my body and that would be a bit gruesome.  

My next distraction is this diet of mine that we recently started. It has taken away so many of the things that I love to eat and teaches you what is right for your blood type.  The diet is really a change of lifestyle in how you eat.  We started a little over a month ago and I have lost over 20lbs.  I feel a lot better except for my pains. I have become obsessed with it.  It is hard to go out to eat or eat with people. It is hard to say I can't eat this now, and they ask why and your like oh because its on my list of negatives.  I crave things and want to give in.  I am doing really well.  I am glad that I am losing weight but sometimes I wish I could just eat a Chick-Fil-A Sandwich and a big class of Diet Coke!  

Here is my Raw(e) Picture: 

Please excuse the mess of my table and my laundry basket. Persephone has been home all day with me and she makes messes.  =) 

If you would like to join in please hop on over to Sailor & Company and join in the fun.

The rules are simple:

post a distraction photo

unedited (don't touch it or crop it or enhance it AT ALL)

don't post until you put your picture on your blog

link to your post not your url so I don't have to dig for it

only post ONE photo!

HAVE FUN!!!!

Happy Birthday My Love

Today is my Hubby's Birthday. 

He is a St. Paddy's Day Baby. 

I am in love with him so much. 

Baby, I hope that your day is a good one. 


I love you with all of my heart. 

Black and White Wednesday 3-17-10

This blog hop is brought to you by: 

If you would like to join in hop on over to her blog and join in the fun. 

With Easter around the corner I felt these are appropriate.

   

The word art is from Elegant Wordart head on over there for lots of neat word arts! 

Hope ya'll have a great rest of the week! 

Persephone's Ideas for my blog

Persephone is my daughter she is 10.  I refer to her as Sephy.  

We are sitting here and she came up with a list of things that I should do on my blog. 

So here it is: 

Money Monday:  take a picture of money

Food Friday:  Take a picture of food

Sun Sunday:  Draw a picture that has the sun in it and it has to be big then take a picture of it. 

and last but not least.. 

Sit Saturday:  You have to take a picture of someone sitting. 

It is all about pictures she said. 

I love doing photography challenges and she likes to do them right along with me.  That is why she came up with this list.  

Color Splash Sunday~Red

Brought to you by Artistically Amy head on over to her blog if you would like to link up. 
The color is Red for this week.  
I chose a picture I did of Sephy at the park.  

Hope everyone has a great week!! 

Book Review: The Flowering Cross

"The Flowering Cross" by Beth Ryan is a very cute Children's book.  It is about a little girl named Kate. She shows kindness and love to her neighbor about Jesus and the meaning of easter. The pictures are brightly colored. It was easy to read. 
 It has an activity at the end to make your own Flowering Cross table piece. My daughter enjoyed the story. She wants to make her own Flowering Cross now for Easter.   
The book has what the author calls Faith Imprints where it gives you ways to interact with your child and teach them more about what the story of Easter is about. 


 If you have small children they will like this book.










Disclaimer : I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Raw (e) First Post

I love this idea of posting a raw unedited picture. This is my first time to join in.  

If you would like to join in please hop on over to Sailor & Company and join in the fun 

I had lots of ideas but none of them seemed to work.  I sure hope that this looks like what I wanted it to. 

Rules:

post a crayon photo

unedited (don't touch it or crop it or enhance it AT ALL)

don't post until you put your picture on your blog

link to your post not your url so I don't have to dig for it

only post ONE photo!

HAVE FUN!!!!

This is Sephy's Picture here!  
She wanted to do her own picture with the crayon theme. 

Notice that its smiling?  She crushed the orange crayon and then put it in water and opened it up and this is what it came out as.  She was impressed.  

Five Question Friday 3-12-10

Happy Friday!! 

I hope everyone has a great weekend! 


This Blog hope is brought to you by Mama M. If you would like to join in this blog hop head on over to her blog or you can link up here on mine.  

1. How much time do you spend on the computer a day?


I spend way to much time on the computer.  This last week i seemed to spend more time than usual because I redid my whole blog myself. Let me tell you for my first attempt I am pretty proud of myself.  :) It was far more work than I expected it to be. 

2. Will you pay for your children's college or raise them to pay for their own way?

We haven't thought about this question. Both of us have had to pay for our college that we have done.  I am not so sure that when the time comes for Sephy that we will be able to pay for her school.  But I know we will help her as much as we can. 

3. Have you ever been in a car accident?


I have been in 3 that I can remember.  One when I was little and seat belts where not required to be worn and me and my sister where thrown onto the floor bored of the car and the ambulance was called. We where okay just had some bumps.


2nd one was the night of my bachelorette party.  My aunt and I where on the way to my grandma's to take my little cousins so she could watch them so we could have my party and we where at a red light and where rear-ended so hard that it moved the tires under the back seats.  We where all okay for the night but after that we had some problems.  The girls where fine with out a scratch on them. 


The last one was here recently December 9th 2009.  We where on our way to Mc'D's for dinner before church and we where rear-ended at a red light again. (whats up with people and not paying attention?? )  It did over 3k worth of damage to my poor van.  It took almost a month to get it fixed.  I ended up having problems with my back and my leg but now everything is fine. 

4. What is your favorite book?


My favorite all time book is Lord of the Flies.  I am not sure quite why but it so my favorite book. 


I also love reading children's books.  I like the joys they bring to little kids. 

5. Do you make your bed everyday?


Nope not at all.. I will pull up the covers but not make it. 

A touch of Spring

I was taking pics for a photography challenge that I totally bombed so I have to do them again. 

I was walking through the yard to the slide and small sprouts of grass where peeping up in the yard. 

I am so loving this weather.  I can't wait to see what the spring does here and how all the trees and flowers bloom. 

My hope is that the grass will stay this green all summer and it will be better than the brown leaves that now cover my yard. 

Happy Spring Everyone!!