Thinking...

Thinking about things in my life sometimes will make me step back and 
re-evaluate what is going on and why. I often find myself asking God if I can handle this.  Is this the right step we should be going in? Am I doing the right thing? Why am I worrying about this?  The word 'this' is my hypothetical problem. But in a way it really isn't hypothetical at all.  

I am worried about Thursday. I go in to the doctor for my yearly appointment and I am scared that they are going to tell me I can't have another child.  I worry that they are going to say things like your to old or your to over weight.  I know some of those answers are not something I really want to hear right now.  I know in my heart that I want another child.  I feel that if it wasn't in God's plan for us to have another child my husband's vasectomy would still be good. But it isn't. So now it is all on my body and up to God for us to have another child.  I keep telling myself that is up to God, but deep down I do not want to give up that control.  I want to be the one that says this is what is going to happen.  I don't care what anyone else has to say.  I know that I can not. I do not have that control, it is up to the Lord!. 

Sunday night we where given a new song in choir practice, that I wanted to share.  I know that it isn't a brand new song but I had never heard it before until Sunday night.  The song is called "My Life is in Your Hands". It is written by Kirk Franklin.  This song has really made some sense to me since Sunday. 

"I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands"