Our New Life

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Letting Go

There comes a time in my life when I must let go of the past and move forward with my life.  It has been over a year and I do not wish to communicate with the past that keeps seeming to want to communicate with me.  Why can't they just understand I don't want to be in their lives nor do I want them in mine because nothing good came from them being there. I do NOT miss all the heart aches, drugs, abuse that was from them.  I am tired of them trying to contact me.  Don't you think that if I haven't talked to you in over a year then I don't want to talk to you.  The best thing that ever happened was them leaving.  I have never seen happiness from my mom like I have now.  Please if for some odd reason they come across this I sure hope they get the hint now that I do NOT want them in my life ever again.  They can keep their problems to themselves.  I do not want to subject my child to hearing things that no child should hear.  I do not want her to see the things she had to see again.  They may never understand how much my heart aches for them.  There is nothing I can do to change them or help them.  I just want that part of my life gone forever.  I am sorry if the rest of my family feels it is necessary to keep up with them.  I just do not want to.  Please forgive me that I am being very strong about this.  I need to keep my child safe and the only way to do that is to make sure she is not subjected to abuse.  

A part of me feels guilty for feeling this way because maybe deep down I should want them in my life, like it is the right thing to do.  Just I don't think I have the strength to handle it.  Maybe in years to come when my child is an adult and I am getting old and they are still trying then maybe I will think about letting them back in my life.  But as of right now I am on a new chapter in our lives and all things that have brought us down in the past will no longer happen.  My family and I are happy and that is where we want to stay.  

Thank you to Shell at Things I Can't Say for this opportunity to share  something with out the guilt of randomly posting about something I have been wanting to say out loud for a really long time. 

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