Our New Life

Friday, May 21, 2010

Cyber Bully say what??

Recently some things have come to light with perspective.  Where to one person they might think that they are just sharing their opinion but they are actually hurting people around them. Even if they don't use your name you know they are talking about you because they are one of the few people that might know what is going on.  All though my incident is not cyber harassment it was still hurtful and hurtful to others around me.  I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions but when you are in a support group, you need to be supportive and not try to play the devil's advocate.  It goes back to that saying when you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.  More and more people just seem to say what is on their minds and they don't care who's feelings they hurt.  It is like to heck with you, I don't care because you know what, I don't need you in my life.  Well if that is the case then by golly get on your way with out saying something mean and degrading. 

I feel that Adults need a lesson in this just as much as children do.   In the Adult world it is not called bullying although it is the same.  It is called harassment.  It is a punishable crime for both adults and children.  Most of what I found when researching this was more for children and youth. But it does apply for adults too.  Adults can feel the same way children and youth do.  

Did you know that "Traditional bullying victims were 1.7 times more likely and traditional bullying offenders were 2.1 times more likely to have attempted suicide than those who were not traditional victims or offenders. Similarly, cyberbullying victims were 1.9 times more likely and cyberbullying offenders were 1.5 times more likely to have attempted suicide than those who were not cyberbullying victims or offenders."(quoted from here)

What is cyberbullying, exactly?
"'Cyberbullying' is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying."(quoted from here)

How can we prevent it??
There are lots of approaches to this.  My opinion is that it starts at home. 
As a Christian it is my duty to train/raise my child to be in Christ’s image. By doing this we teach them right from wrong.  If you don’t teach your children to be kind to others, then how do you expect them to be kind as adults?  If you show your children that it is okay to degrade people by name calling or by gripping about something, then in return they will do the same as you do when they are an adult because that is what they have seen growing up. 

Teach them to love themselves.  If a child has good self esteem they will be able to know what that person is saying about them is not true.

Teach your children what it is to be a bully and why it is wrong. This site has a good teaching lesson what is a bully and what to do from a Christian perspective.

Set up a Google Alert so that you are notified if your name or your child’s name is published on any website.  (This works.  I have it set up for my blog, my name, my child’s name, my husband’s name and my email addresses)

“God has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly, and to love mercy, and to
Walk humbly with your God.”
                                       Micah 6:8

What to do if it is happening to you:
Don't do anything. Take 5! to calm down. Get up away from the computer.
Block the cyberbully or limit all communications to those on your buddy list.
And Tell!
Tell a trusted adult, you don't have to face this alone."(quoted from here) (If you are the adult, talk to a trusted friend, spouse, and your boss if it is happening at work.)

If the bullying is happening on a social media networking site:
You can block the user from your site. Report them to the site for harassment. If it continues, contact the local law enforcement where you live. 

If it is happening at work.  Save all emails or communications.  Contact your HR Rep. or your boss.  Alert them to what is going on.  Lots of companies have procedures to follow when this is happening.  

If this is happening at Church.  Save all emails and communications.  Take it to your pastor.  It should be dealt within the church and then if that doesn't work go to your local law enforcement. 


For more information on Cyber Bullying and Bullying Visit these sites:

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